In “The Pang of Caring”, Wally harnesses the power of coffee while the foundations of a corporate pyramid are shaken in “Three Pillars.” In “Manager’s Elbow”, the Boss gets a dead-on diagnosis from his doctor for a common executive ailment: “Manager’s Elbow. It’s caused by patting yourself on the back and covering your butt at the same time.”
In “Holding Up The Wall”, Dilbert’s Pointy Haired Boss laughs at his own joke and is punished severely. In “Drive By Management”, The Boss shouts to Dilbert, ‘Don’t forget to do the thing for what’s his name or else we’re dead! Must, outrun, cries for clarification!’ Pure genius.
In “Chain Letter”, The Boss receives an email threatening death unless he forwards the note to 50 friends. In “Office Philosophy”, Dilbert wonders about his place in the Pointy Haired Boss’ universe. Dilbert summarizes the conundrum of cubicle existence succinctly: “I think therefore I am. But, I’m micromanaged. Therefore I am not.”
In “Strategy”, The Boss considers writing a book while Dogbert enjoys skeet shoot toast in “Pull.” Here’s a bestselling strategy – The Boss: “Profits are down so we fired the sales department to reduce costs. This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products. Do you think I should write a book?” Dilbert: “I’d try reading one first.”
In “Zero Concept”, The Boss wants the full technical explanation. In “Our Record Loss”, Dilbert and Wally read the company press release: “The CEO stepped down after earning $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure. In a message to shareholders, he said, ‘Ha, ha. Maybe you should have bought stock in me. Who’s your daddy?’”
In “Better Than Being Unemployed”, the Boss offers these inspiring words to motivate Dilbert. The Boss: “How’s the old job market lately? It’s pretty bad, isn’t it? So, no matter how hard I make you work, it’s still better than being unemployed. Who’s your leader? Go, on say it!” Dilbert: “You are.” Motivation at its finest.
In “Power Supply”, Dilbert discovers that product design is quite simple when a colleague mails it in. In “Consult”, Dogbert puts two and two together and uncovers the name origin for paid office advisors. Dogbert: “I like to con people. And I like to insult people. If you combine con and insult, you get ‘consult’. I’m here to consult you.” The Boss: “It sounds expensive and demeaning. Okay.”
In “Role Play”, Catbert is impressed by a prospective employee’s management potential when he simulates a turtle being attacked by a hawk. In “Restroom Conference” , The Boss reveals his squeamish side when he notices trickling sounds. The Boss: “What’s that I’m hearing? Is someone on this conference call using the restroom?’ Voices: ”Had to. Ooops. Me too. I am. Sorry.” Mute buttons in bathrooms are like single ply paper. You just can’t trust them for protection.
In “Test Results”, Dilbert asks The Boss if he can fake the results of a flawed product test. In “The Juice Bag”, The Boss adopts Steve Jobs’ style. The Boss: “My new look is a black turtleneck and old man jeans. What do you think?” Assistant: ”You look like a total juice bag.” Can’t forget the New Balance 992′s.
In “Management Coordination”, the Boss directs Dilbert to loop-in fellow managers. In “Utter Apathy”, Dilbert thanks his colleagues. Here’s a fantastic recipe for cross-departmental collaboration. The Boss: “Make sure you coordinate with the brand manager and the category manager, and also the clients, the account execs, the project leader, strategic planning, facilities management, product managers, marketing and IT.” Dilbert: “All I heard was give up.”
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