OFC

OFC as Corporate YouTube

JordanBerman — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 03:30:04 +0000

OFC: Office Entertainment Network is a “corporate YouTube” for companies looking to engage employees during the digital coffee break where 44% of all online video is viewed at work (Nielsen). OFC produces custom leadership and wellbeing “cubicle sized reality TV” series that entertain, inform and inspire. OFC’s partnership with Kaltura, the leading social enterprise video platform, also enables employees to upload and share videos to the OFC player on company intranet sites to bolster best practices, collaboration and community.

Career Fist: Millennials

JordanBerman — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 03:11:39 +0000

Millennials: leg sweeps, throwing stars and nunchucks can teach twentysomethings about office do’s and don’ts. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Andre in Brooklyn on dealing with coddled and impatient young colleagues. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Herman Miller vs. Steelcase

JordanBerman — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 02:23:13 +0000

Forget Ferrari vs. Lamborghini. The biggest showdown in performance wheels pits Herman Miller vs. Steelcase in a swivel chair death race. So, watch as Boing Boing Gadgets editor, Joel Johnson, test-drives the futuristic Herman Miller Embody against the sleek Steelcase Leap in and outside the office. To the victor goes the workspace spoils!

Richard Simmons: Office Conditioning

JordanBerman — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:11:13 +0000

Workplace wellness is no laughing matter. One in three Americans is obese with a related cost of $150 billion in lost productivity. So, hats off to ESPN for securing a special office conditioning coach to energize the SportsCenter anchors. GIVE ME ENERGY!!

Stork Potential

JordanBerman — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 12:00:06 +0000

If you’re in a foul mood about your job, this fowl-focused spot from Monster might just send you on a migration. There’s nothing quite like a guilt trip from the stork to get your resume updated. Or, was that just a freakishly large pigeon?

Mailroom MBA

JordanBerman — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 12:00:41 +0000

The double-edged sword of an MBA can be tricky to wield. Reference the advanced degree and you may earn additional respect from fellow business school grads. However, show-off the sheepskin to a non-MBA and you may get a swift kick in the ass. So, take note of Tom’s error and just say yes to shipping.

Difficult Bosses Hurt Workers’ Motivation

JordanBerman — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 15:25:34 +0000

Does your supervisor scream? Does your boss badger? According to a recent study, “6 in 10 employees say they’ve felt bruised by their managers’ words or actions.” Leslie Kwoh reports in the WSJ that while proficient in business strategy, most managers lack basic interpersonal skills, which can hurt productivity. Let’s play nice, people. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Dilbert: “Pang of Caring”, “Three Pillars”, “Manager’s Elbow”

JordanBerman — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 12:00:50 +0000

In “The Pang of Caring”, Wally harnesses the power of coffee while the foundations of a corporate pyramid are shaken in “Three Pillars.” In “Manager’s Elbow”, the Boss gets a dead-on diagnosis from his doctor for a common executive ailment: “Manager’s Elbow. It’s caused by patting yourself on the back and covering your butt at the same time.”

Hope Solo & Alex Morgan: Workspace Soccer

JordanBerman — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 12:00:44 +0000

Creating a crew of co-workers with chemistry is no simple task. Too many participants and personalities can spell disaster for any task force or committee. That’s why a great sub-group should be carefully guarded and gated. Otherwise, you risk the experience of the Miami Dolphin and his soccer star pals, Hope Solo and Alex Morgan, as they deal with an office interloper.

Insane Swivel Chair

JordanBerman — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 12:00:27 +0000

Finally, a successor to the Aeron chair. Imagine the rush from hydraulic pistons pushing the limits during your Powerpoint presentation. Then strap in for the creative twists and turns of drafting your expense report. Office seating will never be the same again.

Ultimate Urban Bike Commute

JordanBerman — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 12:00:28 +0000

Stepping onto a Schwinn is fast becoming a crowd favorite commute. Who can argue with exercise and exhaust free travel? Just don’t forget to pack antiperspirant in your personals. And be sure to watch this urban cycling video of Marcelo Gutierrez in case you’re peddling late to a priority meeting.

Dilbert: “Holding Up The Wall”, “Drive By Management”

JordanBerman — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 12:00:22 +0000

In “Holding Up The Wall”, Dilbert’s Pointy Haired Boss laughs at his own joke and is punished severely. In “Drive By Management”, The Boss shouts to Dilbert, ‘Don’t forget to do the thing for what’s his name or else we’re dead! Must, outrun, cries for clarification!’ Pure genius.

Jozy Altidore: Shirt Exchange

JordanBerman — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:00:57 +0000

Great meetings are hard to come by. Many are marred by late attendees, unclear agendas, faulty projectors and participants prone to over-sharing. It’s no wonder some companies are blowing-up the traditional format by removing chairs and introducing digital timers. That’s why you might choose to celebrate great gatherings with a shirt exchange as demonstrated by soccer star, Jozy Altidore, and ESPN host, Josh Elliott. He shoots. He scores.

Coffee Crybaby

JordanBerman — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:00:14 +0000

Who hasn’t experienced the cries of colleagues complaining about the state of office coffee? One would think these decaf divas had their hearts torn out of their caffeine craving chests. Next time you hear charges of coffee foul play, play this compilation of vintage commercials and tell ‘em you’ll listen to no ‘mo crying over the joe.

Squeamish EMT

JordanBerman — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:00:10 +0000

It’s inevitable that the office first aid kit will get called into action by a klutzy colleague in need of Neosporin. From paper cuts to errant staple shots, the office can be a ticking time bomb of bruises, blemishes and black ‘n blues. That’s why it’s comforting to know your floor fire warden has the local EMT on speed dial. Though, one hopes your first responder will have a squeamish tolerance higher than this Monster.com EMT. Safety first, people.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Time Management

JordanBerman — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:00:44 +0000

Time Management: a piledriver to your supervisor can help prioritize a plethora of projects. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Tim in Denver on tackling a tornado of assignments. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Dilbert: “Chain Letter”, “Office Philosophy”

JordanBerman — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:00:38 +0000

In “Chain Letter”, The Boss receives an email threatening death unless he forwards the note to 50 friends. In “Office Philosophy”, Dilbert wonders about his place in the Pointy Haired Boss’ universe. Dilbert summarizes the conundrum of cubicle existence succinctly: “I think therefore I am. But, I’m micromanaged. Therefore I am not.”

Manning Brothers: Office Tour

JordanBerman — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:15:05 +0000

Bringing your kids to work can be a valuable learning experience. The little rug-rats might just build a real appreciation for how their parents earn a living. Of course, your colleagues may also learn something about your parenting skills or lack thereof. So, take note of the brotherly shenanigans that transpire between Peyton and Eli Manning during their family tour of the ESPN office. Congrats on your Super Bowl win, Eli!

Monkey Business Trip

JordanBerman — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:00:15 +0000

The true test of business travel bravery comes when you’re assigned to the air with office undesirables. You know the type: poor preparation, marginal manners and an unquenchable thirst for happy hour Harvey Wallbangers. Hang in there, because your travel travails could be King Kong-size as demonstrated in the latest Careerbuilder Super Bowl spot. Where exactly was that toothbrush?

Perfect Personnel Party

JordanBerman — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:00:10 +0000

Every office houses the occasional hottie, be it the beauty in benefits or the stud in sales. However, the prize for a plethora of perfect personnel goes to Bud Light Platinum in this true to life Super Bowl Spot. After all, doesn’t your workplace resemble the roster of Wilhelmina Models? Addition of a cube farm fiesta featuring a club DJ is a nice touch of realism that any desk jockey should be able to identify with.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Trade Show

JordanBerman — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 22:33:14 +0000

Trade Show: a leg lariat can take out a trash-talking competitor at a conference. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Eric in Wisconsin on handling a corporate heckler. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Dilbert: “Strategy”, “Pull”

JordanBerman — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:00:50 +0000

In “Strategy”, The Boss considers writing a book while Dogbert enjoys skeet shoot toast in “Pull.” Here’s a bestselling strategy – The Boss: “Profits are down so we fired the sales department to reduce costs. This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products. Do you think I should write a book?” Dilbert: “I’d try reading one first.”

Floyd Mayweather: Boss Boxing Bag

JordanBerman — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:34:59 +0000

Supervisor/subordinate tension can be tricky terrain to talk about. It’s sometimes best to blow off some steam with a coffee break walk or a happy hour cocktail with colleagues. Or, you can hook-up a hundred pound heavy bag to your office ceiling and let loose like Floyd Mayweather on Brian Kenny’s headshot in this spar-rific ESPN spot.

Vendor/Client Vendetta

JordanBerman — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 12:00:55 +0000

Vendors and clients comprise the yin yang of business. At its best, the seller/buyer relationship fosters a creative tension that powers commerce innovation. At its worst, f-bombs and folding chairs fly like a flock of finches through the office air. Perhaps this video showing the vendor/client relationship applied to real world situations can point to peace. Can’t we all get along?

Building A Bridge To a Lonely Colleague

JordanBerman — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:00:57 +0000

Eating alone may eat away at your office effectiveness. Phyllis Korkki of The NY Times reports on a Wharton School study of 650 employees that connected loneliness with reduced productivity. Tips for helping colleagues fight the perception of isolation include “taking the time to chat, asking for input on a project, or offering an invitation to coffee or lunch.” In other words, acting human might just make the office a bit more humane. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Decaffeinated Door

JordanBerman — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:00:48 +0000

Glass doors can be the best of both workspace worlds, offering transparency with soundproof privacy. However, there is a price to be paid for plate glass known as the “Pigeon Effect”. This indiscriminate killer strikes unsuspecting professionals as they stroll down hallways glancing at P&L reports and iPhones. Study this surveillance video from Mullen Advertising to minimize the mayhem caused by an invisible menace.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Idea Thief

JordanBerman — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:00:48 +0000

Idea Thief: the slap of a steel ruler can correct a crooked colleague claiming credit for a co-worker’s concepts. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Kerry in St. Louis on besting a brainstorm burglar. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Dilbert: “Zero Concept”, “Our Record Loss”

JordanBerman — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:00:44 +0000

In “Zero Concept”, The Boss wants the full technical explanation. In “Our Record Loss”, Dilbert and Wally read the company press release: “The CEO stepped down after earning $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure. In a message to shareholders, he said, ‘Ha, ha. Maybe you should have bought stock in me. Who’s your daddy?’”

Matt Ryan: Passer’s Passwords

JordanBerman — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:00:37 +0000

When it seems corporate life can’t get any more complex, along comes another password protected process, protocol or portal. It’s enough to drive one into picking passwords “Space Balls” style: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Or, you can try Matt Ryan’s method as highlighted in this ESPN spot with Matt Elliott. Scat 322 Trips Right Alert Stick Hut on 2!

Stapler Song

JordanBerman — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:00:53 +0000

Rumor has it that Ke$ha penned this little ditty in an office job prior to hitting it big on MTV. The lyrics speak for themselves: “Two pieces of paper, lost and alone. You clamped them together and gave them a home. Stapler. Stapler. Stapler.” Haunting.

Office All-Nighter

JordanBerman — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:56:00 +0000

Coffee, NoDoz & Red Bull: the required recipe for an office all-nighter. Many of us honed this formula in the hallowed halls of college. Years later, it can be tricky to transfer those nocturnal habits from dorm room to board room. That’s why you’ll want to study this FedEx spot and dust-off the ‘ol funnel for a flume of caffeine.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Resume

JordanBerman — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 12:00:24 +0000

Resume: an eye gouge can help a recruiter review your resume to gauge a good fit. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Barry in Kentucky on selling your strengths in a single piece of paper. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Dilbert: “Better Than Being Unemployed”

JordanBerman — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 12:00:44 +0000

In “Better Than Being Unemployed”, the Boss offers these inspiring words to motivate Dilbert. The Boss: “How’s the old job market lately? It’s pretty bad, isn’t it? So, no matter how hard I make you work, it’s still better than being unemployed. Who’s your leader? Go, on say it!” Dilbert: “You are.” Motivation at its finest.

Carmelo Anthony: Workspace Sweat

JordanBerman — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:00:41 +0000

In this golden age of technology, it’s a wonder mankind has yet to perfect workspace climate control. In many offices, finicky thermostats appear to fluctuate between hot and cold like a company’s stock price during earnings week. That’s why we must remain ever alert for the sights and smells of sweaty pits from perspiring personnel. Just pray that dripping department-mates refrain from borrowing your stuff as seen in this ESPN spot featuring Carmelo Anthony and the sweat-tastic, Scott Van Pelt.

Pen Spin Savant

JordanBerman — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 12:00:49 +0000

Nothing quite earns office admiration like a perfectly executed pencil baton twirl. Unfortunately, the ability to manipulate a mechanical pen has long been deemed a natural born gift of the office supply Gods. No longer. Meet Rukario Rey, the Luke Skywalker of lead pencils. Rey’s must-see pencil spinning tutorial is practically guaranteed to get you promoted. Just avoid fist pumping triggered by his musical selection as someone will surely lose an eye.

Synth Battle

JordanBerman — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 12:00:22 +0000

In the “company as orchestra” analogy, you may wonder whether you’re first chair cello or fourth chair triangle. The deeper question may be whether you’re even playing for the right conductor/CEO. We suggest you cue-up this awesome spot from Monster, which poses the question with the assistance of some sweet synthesizer. Are you not entertained?!

Career Fist: Dojo Session – Goals

JordanBerman — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 13:04:47 +0000

Goals: a kick to the kidney can correct outdated objectives in an annual performance plan. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Leibowitz in Florida on managing immovable milestones that murder morale. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Dilbert: “Power Supply”, “Consult”

JordanBerman — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 12:00:20 +0000

In “Power Supply”, Dilbert discovers that product design is quite simple when a colleague mails it in. In “Consult”, Dogbert puts two and two together and uncovers the name origin for paid office advisors. Dogbert: “I like to con people. And I like to insult people. If you combine con and insult, you get ‘consult’. I’m here to consult you.” The Boss: “It sounds expensive and demeaning. Okay.”

Adrian Peterson: Nicknames

JordanBerman — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Office nicknames can add flair to colorful cubicle colleagues when picked properly. Nomenclature nails it when said name is unique and grounded in an embarrassing office related event. Reference this handy ESPN spot as a guide while name-storming and learn why Adrian Peterson is “AD” and Scott Van Pelt is “Bedwetter.” Just be mindful that naming your manager, “He Who Grunts In Restroom”, may come back to bite you in the ass.

Laser Pointer Primates

JordanBerman — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:00:24 +0000

The laser pointer: progenitor of presentation improvement or interruption? When used properly, a concentrated beam of light can bolster bullet points and spice-up slides. However, even seasoned executives can slide into the insanity of feeling like an army sniper wielding this pocket size modern marvel. So, take note of this CareerBuilder spot and witness the horror that happens when the fury of the laser in unleashed.

Bud Light Clothing Drive

JordanBerman — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:00:00 +0000

It’s easy to get your briefs bunched-up when company executives coerce colleagues into charity participation. While no one will argue with acts of corporate kindness, the idea of forced participation just doesn’t smell like the stuff of good samaritans. Putting odd odors aside, we think you’ll give a green light to dictated do-goodism if it’s done like the clothing drive in this Bud Light vignette. Another score from the folks behind “Swear Jar.”

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – PowerPoint

JordanBerman — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 05:08:40 +0000

PowerPoint: a Mongolian Chop can erase endless idiotic questions interrupting a workplace presentation. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Brad in Ohio on countering a colleague’s countless queries. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Dilbert: “Role Play”, “Restroom Conference”

JordanBerman — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:00:30 +0000

In “Role Play”, Catbert is impressed by a prospective employee’s management potential when he simulates a turtle being attacked by a hawk. In “Restroom Conference” , The Boss reveals his squeamish side when he notices trickling sounds. The Boss: “What’s that I’m hearing? Is someone on this conference call using the restroom?’ Voices: ”Had to. Ooops. Me too. I am. Sorry.” Mute buttons in bathrooms are like single ply paper. You just can’t trust them for protection.

Bucky Badger: Facebook Bust

JordanBerman — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:00:03 +0000

With the ubiquity of social media, it comes as no surprise to spy workspace surfers filling-up on Facebook during downtime. What is surprising though, is the high percentage of professionals poking around the photos of past and potential mates on their company machines. That’s why we can’t fault Wisconsin’s Buckingham U. Badger in this ESPN spot. C’mon Hannah, short-legged omnivores have needs too.

Workspace Snake

JordanBerman — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 12:00:13 +0000

We’ve all recoiled at the sight of disingenuous colleagues slithering across the office to do their bidding. Sometimes these snakes spread gossip. Other times, they trash talk your latest project. In this video, the snake pretty much just slithers as the resulting panic and pandemonium are captured on camera in this simple, yet effective office prank. Sssuper!

Freestyle Ski Bus Stop

JordanBerman — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 01:09:44 +0000

Be warned: this video may move you to add aerials to your Monday morning walk to the bus stop. JP Auclair, professional freeskier, turns the streets of a British Columbia town into a showcase for his amazing acrobatics en route to catch the bus. The clip comes from All.I.Can, a superb skiing documentary, featuring “Dance Yrself Clean” from LCD Soundsystem. Skiing sweetness.

Conquering the To-Do List

JordanBerman — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 12:00:22 +0000

The to-do list: progenitor of productivity or procrastination? Sue Shellenbarger’s WSJ article references a 2006 online survey that found, “23% of list-makers spend more time making the lists than doing the tasks on them.” Don’t despair, to-do devotees. Sue shares tips and apps to make your to-do list do more. As a start, be sure to identify specific, time-checked tasks instead of broad goals and consider software that sizes-up those tasks against broader career objectives. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Dilbert: “Test Results”, “The Juice Bag”

JordanBerman — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 12:00:13 +0000

In “Test Results”, Dilbert asks The Boss if he can fake the results of a flawed product test. In “The Juice Bag”, The Boss adopts Steve Jobs’ style. The Boss: “My new look is a black turtleneck and old man jeans. What do you think?” Assistant: ”You look like a total juice bag.” Can’t forget the New Balance 992′s.

Alexander Ovechkin: Workspace Spy

JordanBerman — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 20:36:06 +0000

It takes more than an offsite trust fall to place your fate in the fingers of fellow office dwellers. With the ever present threat of downsizing, most workplaces exude a vibe more akin to Survivor than synergy. So, give your colleague the benefit of the doubt and resolve that budget issue over a hot cup ‘o joe instead of flaming email. That, of course, assumes your colleague is not Alexander Ovechkin, the workspace spy outed in this ESPN spot.

CD Coffee Tray

JordanBerman — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 12:00:59 +0000

It’s urban legend among IT colleagues that clueless senior executives slip coffee cups into computer CD trays. The resulting mess to corporate machines has supposedly triggered countless calls to the help desk. We can’t verify whether this is true, but we can point to this overseas spot as potential proof. As for the “Supply Room Sasquatch”, absolutely undeniably true!

Corporate Massage Chairs

JordanBerman — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 12:00:23 +0000

Aching backs, sprained necks and carpal tunnel syndrome. Sitting at a desk for 8 hours can be a killer. It’s a wonder why HR hasn’t yet moved to mainstream massage chairs. It might help to forward this FedEx spot to your office manager so you can start visualizing the sweet soothing vibrations of a back rubbing recliner.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Fingernails

JordanBerman — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 05:04:50 +0000

Fingernails: nunchucks to the nose can knock sense into a co-worker cluelessly clipping his nails in a crowded conference room. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Roy in Canada on managing an untimely manicure. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Dilbert: “Management Coordination”, “Utter Apathy”

JordanBerman — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:00:52 +0000

In “Management Coordination”, the Boss directs Dilbert to loop-in fellow managers. In “Utter Apathy”, Dilbert thanks his colleagues. Here’s a fantastic recipe for cross-departmental collaboration. The Boss: “Make sure you coordinate with the brand manager and the category manager, and also the clients, the account execs, the project leader, strategic planning, facilities management, product managers, marketing and IT.” Dilbert: “All I heard was give up.”

Arnold Palmer: Hydration Hole in One

JordanBerman — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 12:00:23 +0000

Beverage selection at a working lunch can be a career breaking or making decision. Order soda and risk looking junior as colleagues order sophisticated spirits. Choose wine and appear wasteful when others request water. We suggest you tee-up an Arnold Palmer with the perfect combo of iced tea and lemonade as demonstrated in this ESPN spot. It’s a hydration hole in one.

Wendy’s Hip-Hop Training Video

JordanBerman — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 12:00:03 +0000

Tip your Kangol to the freshest and dopest training video this side of Krush Groove. Wendy’s launched this hip-hop inspired employee video in the mid-80′s. It’s now delighting devotees of DJ Cool Herc and LL Cool J with a flava that can only be described as 100% beefy goodness. So, lace-up those Adidas shell toes and see how the Fat Boys got that way. Yeah, boy!!!!!

Don’t Just Sit There, Work Out At Your Desk

JordanBerman — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:00:32 +0000

Sitting in your swivel chair may cause a coronary. Research points to long periods of inactivity causing “back strain, slower metabolism and increased risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease and some cancers.” So reports Eric Copage in his NY Times article. Progressive employers are responding with walking meetings, treadmill conference rooms, balance ball chairs and 10-minute recess with structured group activity breaks. Tag you’re it, IT guy! CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Office Moose

JordanBerman — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:00:10 +0000

There’s often only a flimsy, fabric covered wall separating the office Haves & Have Nots. While we wish workplace rewards accrued to those most deserving, it’s usually the squeaky wheel that gets the grease. So, ask and ye may receiveth. Just know that sometimes you eat the moose and sometimes the moose eats you….or hovers over your desk as in this entertaining spot from Monster.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Singing

JordanBerman — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 12:00:20 +0000

Singing: a crane kick to the kisser can silence a song bird’s endless cubicle crooning. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from James in NY on handling a vocal violator of the office airwaves. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Dilbert: “It Pays To Be Wally”, “Employee of the Week”

JordanBerman — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 12:00:05 +0000

In “It Pays To Be Wally”, Wally figures he’s pretty well paid on an hourly basis. In “Employee of the Week”, the Boss discovers a perfect, albeit dead award candidate. Boss: “I found another dead employee in the conference room. I don’t know what got him, the boredom or the hard work. But head count is down one and the company has life insurance on him. It looks like I’ve found my Employee of the Week.” Huzzah.

Office Slide Tackle

JordanBerman — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:00:34 +0000

Some colleagues are just too damn sensitive. Even the smallest comment on a meeting recap can send a coddled co-worker into a tizzy. You’ve simply got to wear kid gloves when dealing with an office diva. In the case of Abby Wambach, the Olympic gold medalist is forced to wear goalie gloves in handling the melodramatic cries of foul play from SportsCenter anchor, John Anderson. GOOAALL!

Carbonated Commute

JordanBerman — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 12:00:13 +0000

Free beverages can be a refreshing workplace perk. If only America’s management minds could co-mingle complementary drinks and company cars, we’d realize the promise of true synergy. Enter the folks at EepyBird, engineers of the Coke & Mentos explosion experiments of yesteryear. EepyBird has finally cracked the code of zero emission fuel by employing Coke Zero and Mentos to energize your engine. Better order the Big Gulp on your commute home.

Tall Tales: Do Men Exaggerate More?

JordanBerman — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 12:01:03 +0000

A new Columbia Business School study appears to confirm the “C” in C suite refers to cocky. Leslie Kwoh covered the study in her WSJ article, which cited “male test-takers mistakenly inflated their scores by an average of 30.5%, compared to 14.4% for the female test-takers – even though both genders performed similarly.” Male overconfidence about past achievement may help explain why guys dominate the corner office. Ladies, it’s time to infuse a little creative writing in your resumes. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Touchdown Tantrum

JordanBerman — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 12:00:41 +0000

Set aside the downward spiral of your company stock. The biggest cause of corporate crying stems from Sunday night football. Even the toughest executive gets misty eyed on Monday morning after a big loss. So, bring some Kleenex to your next staff meeting if the smell of defeat wafts through the office. Then, play this video of a toddler crying after the Packers beat her Vikings and tell your wailing co-worker to cowboy-up before you spank him like a baby.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Golf Outing

JordanBerman — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 05:07:22 +0000

Golf Outing: a forearm clothesline to the neck can silence critics at a client golf game. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Nick Johnson in NY on dealing with the embarrassment from endless errors on the fairway. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Dilbert: “Bathtub Car”, “Pirate’s Booty”

JordanBerman — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 12:00:59 +0000

In “Bathtub Car”, the Boss threatens to send work to his friend, Elrod. In “Pirate’s Booty”, Dilbert’s blind date judges him by the apps on his smartphone. Woman: “I judge potential mates by their cellphone apps. Hand it over. You have an app that does nothing but hurl pirate insults? That is so stupid. This date is over.” Dilbert’s Phone: “Don’t let the door hit you in the booty…arrgh.” Ah, modern romance.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. – IT Guy

JordanBerman — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 12:00:04 +0000

The IT house call: an inevitable visit from the tech guy can get weird when his hands get a little too frisky with your favorite gadget. It’s bad enough to have his ass associated with your coveted Aeron during a long reboot. However, the likelihood he’ll poke around your secret “Personal” file is just too much to bare. So, thank your lucky stars the software savant isn’t packing an impact wrench like Dale Earnhardt Jr. in this ESPN spot. Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

10 Best Amazon Reviews. Ever.

JordanBerman — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 12:00:30 +0000

Notice a drop in workplace productivity on the Monday following Thanksgiving? Don’t blame indigestion, blame Amazon. According to ComScore, Americans spent a record $1.3 Billion across all e-commerce sites on Cyber Monday. And while many a mouse clicked “Buy”, many more clicked to read the riotous product reviews that have become a new literary form. Thank Adam Penenberg, NYU Journalism Professor and Fast Company contributing writer, for collecting 10 of the best Amazon reviews as a follow-up to his previous top 10 review article (CLICK TO READ ARTICLE). There may simply be no more poetic expression of love for a garment than The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee review by B. Govern: ”I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt. I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.” Priceless. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

DIY Spit Wad Cannon

JordanBerman — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 12:00:01 +0000

The arms race to stockpile workspace weaponry has created a cubicle cold war. Ever fearful of the binder clip bow and arrow (CLICK FOR HOW TO VIDEO), the workplace warriors at Brusspup have raised the ante with the compressed air cannon. Simply snap-off the nozzle of a keyboard cleaner can, insert ballpoint pen tube, and load with spit balls. Oh, the horror.

Hiding From The Boss

JordanBerman — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 12:00:46 +0000

The cubicle chameleon is an intriguing species of workspace survivor. This adaptable acrobat is able to sense impending danger and magically disappear to evade layoffs, re-orgs or hotheaded bosses on a rampage. FedEx pays homage to this hallway Houdini in a classic spot that may spur some camouflage solutions to enhance your corporate safety.

For Angry Employees, Legal Cover for Rants

JordanBerman — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 12:00:05 +0000

Giving your company the finger on Facebook might be protected by the National Labor Relations Act of 1935. Melanie Trottman covers this sticky social media situation in her WSJ article citing 113 employee complaints during the month of May alone. In one instance, a paramedic logged onto her home computer and posted on Facebook that her supervisor is a “scumbag.” The paramedic was fired, but her case was settled before trial. Better practice career CPR before flaming your department head. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Dilbert: “Flip Top Head”, “Exploding Head”

JordanBerman — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:00:08 +0000

In “Flip Top Head”, Dogbert conducts management training via brain surgery. In “Exploding Head”, Dilbert and Wally witness a colleague’s head explode after the poor fella realizes the meeting and all the strange words make sense. It’s difficult to beat Dogbert’s management method: “Twist the ears to unlock the skull. Find the moral compass and deactivate it. The result is something called leadership.”

Tony Romo: Receptionist

JordanBerman — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 12:00:52 +0000

Whoever predicted the paperless office certainly overestimated human capacity to manage minutiae. A simple scan of the cube farm horizon reveals the plethora of Post-It Notes and legal pads piled high with phone numbers, meeting dates and budget projections. That’s why it so refreshing to see Tony Romo come to the rescue with his revolutionary paper-free armband filing system as seen in this ESPN spot. Question is, does it come in pinstripes?

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Punctuality

JordanBerman — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 05:04:54 +0000

Punctuality: a throwing star to the temple can take down a chronically tardy colleague. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Jeff in Dallas on dealing with a co-worker who ignores staff meeting start times. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Exceeds Expectations

JordanBerman — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 12:00:39 +0000

So, it’s review season and your self evaluation reads “exceeds expectations.” You might be a brilliant strategist, disciplined doer and master motivator. But can you putt, sculpt, suture or tattoo? If not, better study this funny FedEx spot and practice your Mandarin translation of chess moves. That last line is pure poetry: ”Checkmate, Surgei. Chowwa, Chung.”

Thirtysomethings Least Happy With Their Work

JordanBerman — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 12:00:25 +0000

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably not in your 30s. A new study from the Center on Aging and Work at Boston College found workers aged 30-39 reported the lowest job satisfaction levels (4.33) relative to their under-30 (4.66) and 50+ colleagues (4.55). Lauren Weber highlighted the study in her Wall Street Journal article, which referenced a prevalent Gen X concern with Baby Boomer reluctance to retire and give up plum managerial positions. Try dropping a little X in your morning coffee, Xers. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Taxidermy Decor

JordanBerman — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 12:00:51 +0000

In the world of office decor, nothing says “the buck stops here” like the head of a buck mounted on your workplace wall. That’s why we’re predicting a steady erosion of Successories market share with a shift of wall-size motivation to glass-eyed gazelle and stuffed siberian wolf. So, check out this insanely viral video from Ojai Valley Taxidermy that was produced by YouTubers, Rhett and Link, as part of their IFC TV show, “Commercial Kings.” It’s a 10-pointer.

Dilbert: “Wally the Wizard”, “Valuable Advice”

JordanBerman — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 12:00:54 +0000

In “Wally the Wizard,” Dilbert finds out Wally earns more when the department salary spreadsheet is inadvertently emailed to all. In “Valuable Advice”, the Boss blinds Dilbert with the obvious. These are words to live by — The Boss: “Try working around the problem.” Dilbert: “Thank you for that valuable advice. I had planned to stare at my screen until I starved to death.”

Chris Paul: Office Rookie

JordanBerman — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 12:00:41 +0000

Hazing rookies is a celebrated ritual across all manner of organizations, from fraternities to the Fortune 100. Haven’t we all picked-up our supervisor’s dry cleaning, ironed company bowling team shirts or disposed of an occasional dead body as directed by the boss? That’s why this ESPN clip featuring Chris Paul, NBA Rookie of the Year, is a slam dunk of managerial abuse memories.

Breathtaking Bike Commute

JordanBerman — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 12:00:14 +0000

Sweaty pits, dirty clothes, and a plethora of bruises. Add in dorky helmets and you’ve got enough reason to hit the brakes on a bicycle commute. Then you watch this video from Boardman Bikes and realize it’s time to get your tuchus on a 2-wheeler. You might also be persuaded by Rob Jarman, former World Cup downhill racer, to find a new workplace in South Wales for a commute as creamy as Shepherd’s Pie.

Post-It Passport

JordanBerman — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:00:44 +0000

Stop motion savant, Bang-yao Liu, presents this amazing follow-up to his original “Deadline” video. In “Deadline 2: Sticking Close to You”, Liu’s Post-It pal sees the sights of 11 global cities. Enjoy this ode to our favorite office supply, the sticky square. And don’t forget to pack Post-It notes on your next vacation so Liu’s legacy lives on.

Dilbert: “Easier Means Stupider”, “Catbert In Real Time”

JordanBerman — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 11:00:09 +0000

In “Easier Means Stupider”, the Boss asks Carol to print out the company website and stick it in a binder for easier reference. In “Catbert In Real Time”, the company will no longer provide free beverages. Catbert then announces a future company prohibition against swallowing your saliva. Classic.

Maria Sharapova: Cafeteria BFF

JordanBerman — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 11:00:20 +0000

The sole difference between the company cafeteria and high school lunch room rests with the former’s lack of tater tots. And what a shame it is to go the whole workday without those golden nuggets of potato goodness. Look around: the jocks sit with the jocks (sales), the nerds sit with the nerds (IT), and the genetically gifted sit wherever they well please (sr mgmt). So, unwrap that fruit roll-up and watch this tasty ESPN spot featuring our vote for corporate Prom Queen, Maria Sharapova.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Ad Salesman

JordanBerman — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 13:00:45 +0000

Ad Salesman: a sleeper hold can silence the antics of an anxious ad peddler when his Powerpoint presentation puts you to sleep. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Adrian in Chicago on how to end exhausting essays on end-user engagement from a sales stalker. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Boss Bogarts Big Idea

JordanBerman — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 13:00:22 +0000

Capturing credit in a corporate environment is always a crap shoot. While there’s no “i” in “team”, there is an “i” in “promotion.” So, don’t be bashful about touting big wins if you want to take home big bucks. Just be sure to sprinkle your self-congratulatory propaganda with plenty of Up With People positivity: we, team, united, collaboration, synergy, etc. And refer to this handy FedEx spot when credit hoarding as it helps to have good hair, a great title, and Jedi-like gesticulation.

Real Men of Genius: Silent Killer Gas Passer

JordanBerman — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:29:52 +0000

There are many reasons to celebrate the move from cubicle to office including privacy and prestige. Yet, HR often fails to arm rising corporate stars with a plan to handle the pitfalls of passing gas in an enclosed workspace. There simply is nowhere to hide when a colleague drops in for a fly-by and comes face to face with the flatulence spurred by an enchilada combo meal. That’s why we’re thankful for this Real Men of Genius spot from Bud Light. Raising awareness is the first step in dealing with this managerial menace….followed quickly, we hope, by raising a match.

Dilbert: “Framework Process”, “Mismanagement Skills”

JordanBerman — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 13:00:37 +0000

In “Framework Process”, the team will need to rely on more guesswork. How can you not love the corporate gobbledygook from The Boss? “We’re going to use CMMI. It’s a model for developing a process to create a framework. Or, it might be a process for creating a framework to make a model.” In “Mismanagement Skills”, Dilbert gets shafted when requesting training.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Annual Review

JordanBerman — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 02:13:24 +0000

Annual Review: an axe kick to the collarbone can end any personal attacks your manager puts into the performance appraisal. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet from Jody in NJ on how to negotiate nasty comments in an egregious excuse for an evaluation. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Usain Bolt Punching In

JordanBerman — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:00:09 +0000

Punching a clock: the art form of arriving at work is no trivial pursuit. Get in too early and nobody in upper management will be there to gauge your go-getterness. Leave too late and you’re as likely to be branded a busy bee as you are a poor time manager. That’s why you might as well take a timing tip from Usain Bolt in this ESPN spot that says it’s OK to get in and get out when your work is done. Just hope your manager is a fan of the 100 meter monster when it’s performance appraisal time.

Rage Against The Coffee Machine

JordanBerman — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 13:00:37 +0000

This is the granddaddy of office freakout videos. Everything is epic: duration, devastation, diversity of destruction. Most crazy colleagues go for the unimaginative keyboard-mashed-in-the-monitor move. Not this fellow. He flings floor lamps, drags divider walls, kicks copiers, and punches accounts payable personnel. While many permutations of the clip exist, this vintage featuring “Know Your Enemy” from Rage Against The Machine, adds a soothing soundtrack you can hum to. Just another reason why meth should be banned from office vending machines.

Boardroom Bra

JordanBerman — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 13:00:47 +0000

With all the talk of cougars, one might think their elder sisters invisible. That fallacy ends with this BBC spot celebrating the Saber-Tooth: the Ice Age ancestor of the cougar. These AARP card carrying cuties are turning back the clock from MILF to GILF. So, beware of Betty in the board room because she’s ready to get her Demi on…and your name might as well be Ashton!

File Cabinet Sausage Smoker

JordanBerman — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:00:36 +0000

Finally, a way to destroy damning documents while smoking your sausage. The inebriated innovators at F&D Concepts proudly present the 4-Drawer Filing Cabinet Smoker. Look for it in the Staples holiday catalog under the headline: “That’s for smoking meat, bitches!” Be sure to light-up your apple chips before the S.E.C. comes looking for those bogus accounting files.

Half Of Young Professionals Value Facebook Access, Smartphone Options Over Salary: Report

JordanBerman — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 15:43:35 +0000

A groundbreaking Cisco study confirms companies need more than complimentary hard candy at reception desks to attract millennial professionals. Austin Carr covered Cisco’s second annual Connected World Technology Report in his Fast Company article. The study found “More than two of five would accept a lower-paying job that had more flexibility with regard to device choice, social media access, and mobility than a higher-paying job with less flexibility.” A word of advice to recruiters: lose the stress balls and pass out iPhones to attract and retain your best prospects. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Movember

JordanBerman — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 04:11:19 +0000

Facial Hair: a karate chop to the upper lip can prod your manager to celebrate mustaches in Movember. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet on getting around the grooming Gestapo from Emile at CineTechNews in LA. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors. Get the full buzz at Movember.com.

If You’re Happy and You Know It, Must I Know, Too?

JordanBerman — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 13:36:35 +0000

LOL OMG : ) Emoticons have made the evolutionary jump from the dorm room to the board room. Judith Newman reports on the communication conundrum that results when playful meets professional in her NY Times article. Fans of the frownie face maintain such emoticons help avoid misunderstandings and strengthen relationships. However, smiley face critics bemoan illegible images that don’t translate between operating systems as was the case when a Blackberry ‘big hug’ appeared on a recipient’s iPhone as ({}), something typically associated with a female’s nether regions. TMI ; ( CLICK TO READ

Oregon Cubicle Quack

JordanBerman — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:00:06 +0000

Ahh, the great outdoors. So close and yet so far away when your office clock reads 10am. That’s why this ESPN spot featuring the Oregon Duck just might make you quack with longing for a little fresh air and a pond to call your own. Do yourself a favor and choose takeout instead of delivery when ordering that Peking Duck. The 5-minute walk might just fix your fowl mood. (couldn’t resist the pun)

Put on a Happy Face. Seriously.

JordanBerman — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:00:38 +0000

That jackknifed tractor trailer on your morning commute might be crashing your productivity. Nancy Rothbard cites research in her WSJ article that employees entering the office in a good mood stay happy and productive throughout the day. Conversely, colleagues entering in a bad mood get sucked into a vicious cycle of misery and poorer performance. Rothbard recommends managers acknowledge and reset negative moods by creating “intentional transitions” that give employees time to remix their mojo: hold morning motivational gatherings, send positive AM emails, and allocate some free time at the start of meetings for attendees to blow off steam. An occasional foot rub wouldn’t hurt either! CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Office Supply Star Wars

JordanBerman — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:00:01 +0000

Is that an Epson EX7200 LCD Projector or the Millennium Falcon? Leave it to the Bulgarians to bring office supplies into the realm of the epic. You’ll want to break out the popcorn and Milk Duds for this Star Wars inspired commercial from Office Express. Here’s a salute to our South Slavic friends for kindly omitting a binder clip Jar Jar Binks.

Dilbert: “Simple Explanation”, “Certain Calamity”, “Monkey”

JordanBerman — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:00:51 +0000

In “Simple Explanation”, Dilbert offers the Boss two explanations while asking for clarification in “Certain Calamity.” Dilbert’s restructuring advice in “Monkey” seems pretty much on par with most CEO plans to manage the recession. Dilbert, ”If we migrate the enterprise applications to the web and outsource our sales and product development, the entire company can be managed by one monkey. Plus a second monkey to look at the power point slides from the first monkey.” Which monkey are you?

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Career Change

JordanBerman — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 02:41:29 +0000

Career Change: a body slam to your supervisor can help shift a career into new directions. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet on finding a new field from Dave in LA. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Airport Security Scrutiny

JordanBerman — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:00:13 +0000

Nothing gets a business traveler teed-up for a tortuous trip than the probing tentacles of the TSA. If you weren’t satisfied with the full body scan, you’re apt to encounter a security sleuth slinging your new smartphone onto the conveyor belt like a bar of soap. You might forgive said security agent if he rocked a perm like the fellow in this FedEx Office ad. Just let your Soul Glo!!

Conference Call Interruptus

JordanBerman — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:00:10 +0000

The wonders of working from home are well-documented: increased productivity, enhanced cost savings and reduced pollution. The down side often has to do with the daily distractions of civilian life including TV and the kids. Sony Vaio reminds us of an even more sinister danger: the high probability of a Victoria’s Secret style home invasion that can render a man helpless during an international conference call. Better install that deadbolt.

Free Doritos At The Office

JordanBerman — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 12:00:32 +0000

You pass her in the office kitchen every day. She’s tall and seductive with a complexity that spans sweet to savory. Can you withstand her siren’s call to cheat on your lunch date with a mid-afternoon tryst? That vixen, of course, is the vending machine as featured in this 2009 “Doritos – Crash the Super Bowl” spot. You just can’t go wrong with an ad that incorporates two surefire crowd pleasers: workplace vandalism and a high speed projectile to the pants. Crunchariffic!

Swivel Chair Splash

JordanBerman — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:00:19 +0000

If the cubicle is a castle, the swivel chair its throne. And what cube king or queen isn’t afraid of a co-worker laying claim to their seat, even just for a second? That’s why it is a no-no to rest your nether region in a neighbor’s Aeron, especially if you’re Michael Phelps fresh from the pool. Watch and learn from this ESPN spot, soggy squatters!

Casual Friday Sans Clothing

JordanBerman — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:00:40 +0000

No matter how many times you’ve seen Grandpa Joe in his undies, there’s still something shocking about seeing old fat guys in briefs. That’s especially true when said fat guys are surrounded by office accoutrements. It is therefore no surprise that CareerBuilder scored a touchdown with their “Casual Friday” 2010 Super Bowl spot. Enjoy the sights, sounds…and smells!

Whiteboard Stop Motion Video

JordanBerman — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:00:31 +0000

This soundtrack may need a bit more falsetto if it has any hopes of dethroning the 80′s awesomeness of Aha’s “Take On Me.” Regardless, the use of stop motion video with a whiteboard certainly gave me a hankering for dry erase markers. If only Staples figured out how to combine the joy of scratch & sniff markers with the easy on/easy off magic of dry erase. Dream a little dream. Grazie to Istituto Design Palladio for the great animation.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Flirting

JordanBerman — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 07:20:48 +0000

Office Flirting: a billy club to the undercarriage can curtail the adulterous advances of a married colleague. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet on questionable romantic quips from Bermie in New York. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

What Not To Say On Your First Day

JordanBerman — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:00:21 +0000

The first day of work can vacillate between a homecoming parade and a Shawshank Redemption style brouhaha. So, take note of this entertaining clip from BBC Three’s sitcom, “How Not To Live Your Life.” You may pick-up a useful tip on what not to say on your first day, especially as pertaining to dragging a dead body into work without knowing where to put it. Rookie mistake.

Word Processing Pigeons

JordanBerman — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:00:58 +0000

We’ve found a better use for pigeons than the racing props in Mike Tyson’s Animal Planet show, “Taking On Tyson”. Make some feathered friends and you just might fly up the corporate ladder like the guy in this video. Don’t forget to be generous with the bread crumbs on your keyboard and keep the office windows open as mice generally deliver lower words per minute than their winged cousins.

Post-It Note Paradise

JordanBerman — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Be sure to thank Minnesota as you reach for that stapler, Scotch tape or Post-It Note. All of these items were invented in the “Land of 10,000 Lakes.” And what better salute to 3M’s sticky square, than this amazing stop motion video, “Deadline”, created by Bang-yao Liu for his senior project at Savannah College of Art and Design. Bang-up job Bang-yao! Now, lay off the LSD and stay out of the stationary supply closet.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Home Office

JordanBerman — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 01:44:12 +0000

Home Office: a Muay Thai knee strike can sway your superior about the virtues of a virtual workspace. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet on home workplace positioning from Bradley in New York. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Corporate Expense Confession

JordanBerman — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 12:00:44 +0000

With the exception of marketing, the expense report may be corporate America’s last bastion of creativity. Phantom client names, fictitious sales meetings and flexible bar tabs that miraculously morph into office supply orders are but a few of the tricks of the trade. The fine folks at Budweiser raise a glass to this time honored tradition in a spot that should marginalize comptrollers at every corporate holiday party going forward. To excellence in expense report creativity! BTW, a dollar to anyone who can prove that actor is not Jason Jones from The Daily Show.

Finding Harmony Across Generations

JordanBerman — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 12:00:15 +0000

Elvis, Kurt Cobain and Justin Bieber walk into a conference room. I forget the joke but am pretty sure the punchline has to do with tassled loafers. With that said, the topic of a multi-generational throwdown at work populates Eilene Zimmerman’s NYT article as she asks, “Can’t we all get along?” Take a look around your office and see if there are the makings of a Tupac/Biggie style beef between the baby boomers (born 1946-1964), Gen X (born 1965-1981) and Gen Y (born 1982-1992). CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

More Offices Let Workers Choose Their Own Devices

JordanBerman — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 12:00:53 +0000

Forget BYOB. It’s time for BYOD: Bring Your Own Device to work. NYT reporter, Verne Kopytoff, highlights the growing legion of companies like Kraft and Netflix that now provide stipends for employees to buy whatever laptop or cellphone they desire. “As long as they’re productive, innovative and engaged, we’re happy,” said Steve Swasey, a spokesman for Netflix. Now, if only I could get that Commodore 64 in fighting shape. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Vortex Cannon: Hot Air Power

JordanBerman — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 12:00:24 +0000

Who hasn’t gotten dressed down by a blowhard boss? You know the look: furrowed brows, furious snarl and a face the color of candy apple red. Next time you’re subjected to a workspace screamer, just pull out a vortex cannon and fire back with a little hot air of your own. You might invest in something like the model demonstrated by BBC One in this episode of “Bang Goes The Theory.” There’s got to be an app for that.

Putting the Honey Back in ‘Honey, I’m Home’

JordanBerman — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 12:00:57 +0000

They call it the Witching Hour: the after-work window of time when tired and hungry office dwellers open the front door to dinner demands, kid catastrophes and spouse bitch sessions. Thankfully, Elizabeth Bernstein offers some coping methods for your re-entry from the office orbit in her helpful WSJ article. Top tips include getting closure on your workday, putting a smile on your face, divvying-up household tasks, listening actively to your partner, and of course, filling-up that wine glass to the brim. Welcome home! CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Steve Jobs’ Best Quotes

JordanBerman — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:00:52 +0000

There have been a lot of words written about Steve Jobs over the past week. None quite resonate as much as his own. Read Jennifer Valentino-DeVries’ compilation of Steve Jobs’ best quotes in the WSJ. My favorite follows: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Phone Noise

JordanBerman — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 02:49:07 +0000

Cell Phone Noise: a dropkick can decimate the endless drone of IM dings from a discourteous colleague’s wireless device. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tweet of wireless woe from Andrew in New Jersey. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Celtics Clothing Conundrum

JordanBerman — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 12:00:15 +0000

What to wear to work can be the the most difficult decision of the day. And with business casual ruling the hallways, it’s tough not to look like just another Banana Republican. Hence the importance of accessorizing and our related prediction that personalized pocket protectors will be making a comeback. With that said, enjoy this fashionable spot from ESPN SportsCenter where Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen get hazed for having coordinated outfits.

Fairway Conference Call

JordanBerman — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 12:34:01 +0000

Bunkers, sand traps, water hazards and rabid gophers. While daunting, these obstacles pale in comparison to the danger of your boss catching you playing hookey on the 9th hole. So, tee-up this funny FedEx spot and be on the lookout for the Dalai Lama to grant you total consciousness, which would be nice if you got that goin’ for you. Just ask Carl Spackler.

Crazy Cube Illusion

JordanBerman — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 12:00:36 +0000

Ever been accused of taking the office home? Well, this guy has figured out how to decorate his apartment with a magic cube that appears to float in mid air. Would be even cooler if a white tiger jumped out of said cube with the rest of Siegfried & Roy it didn’t already devour. Dare to dream.

3D Paper City

JordanBerman — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 04:26:01 +0000

Paper and time: two ingredients every office dweller has in abundance. Now you can finally put that performance appraisal to good use with this 3D paper city tutorial from Brusspup. Watch closely, because this origami master flies at Mach 3. So, throw down a pot of coffee before you try to build Rome in a lunchbreak.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Oral Hygiene

JordanBerman — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 03:15:40 +0000

Oral Hygiene: an explosive elbow can effectively extinguish the excess saliva around a co-worker’s mouth. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a tooth related tweet from Ian in New York. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Tim Lincecum Voicemail Greeting

JordanBerman — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 12:30:01 +0000

The pursuit of a perfect voicemail greeting is the Holy Grail of office life. We’ve witnessed senior executives cry and junior receptionists resign after endless takes disrupted by verbal ticks. That’s why it’s so comforting to see two-time Cy Young Award winner, Tim Lincecum, struggle to nail his verbal delivery against the ultimate opposition: the automated voicemail system. Hats off to ESPN SportsCenter for a brilliant take on a national pastime of pain and frustration. Be sure to leave a message after the beep. BEEP!

Workplace Porta-Potty

JordanBerman — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 12:30:49 +0000

This little ditty may induce bad memories of co-workers dropping the deuce in shared office restroom space. Now imagine if that bathroom was connected to the boardroom and you’ve got the basis of this amusing “Just For Laughs” video. Enjoy and don’t forget the courtesy flush!

Elevator Guillotine

JordanBerman — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 12:30:23 +0000

There are simply too many things to love about this Microsoft Office Live Meeting spot. Hats off to Bonnie Tyler for reprising her hit from the 1984 Footloose soundtrack, “Holding Out For A Hero.” Who knew Christian Bale’s “American Psycho” outtakes would end-up in a software commercial? And the climax is a nice touch for survivors of elevator door decapitation. Be safe and remember to sprinkle a little holy water to exorcise the elevator demons in your own office building.

Dilbert: “The 70′s Dude”, “Going Green”, “No Hope For Progress”

JordanBerman — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 03:16:41 +0000

Alice is confronted by a co-worker with a 70′s look. Styrofoam cups are replaced by paper cups. Dilbert fantasizes about a project with no hope for progress. And isn’t this what it means to be green – Dilbert: “We replaced our styrofoam cups with paper cups. But it’s not so clear that it helps the planet.” The Boss: “We didn’t do it to help the planet. We did it to look like the sort of company that cares about that sorta thing.” Dilbert: “Oh. In that case, it’s working great.”

Mute Button Malfunction

JordanBerman — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 12:30:53 +0000

We hereby propose to re-name the “mute” button as the “mock” button. After all, is there any other reason to hit “mute” if not to openly mock the people on the other line? The fine folks at Xerox expose the underbelly of this workplace pastime with a “mute” button fail. Were this spot not produced for a fairly conservative document automation company, we bet the female “muter” would have dropped a couple of F-bombs in her diatribe against the male “mutee.” Perhaps that awaits in the DVD director’s cut.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Business Trip

JordanBerman — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 03:55:05 +0000

Overseas business trips: a roundhouse kick to the head is often the best way to break through the language barrier. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers a business travel tweet from Josh in Florida. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

How 50 Big Companies Got Their Names

JordanBerman — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:00:56 +0000

Here’s a little corporate nomenclature ammunition for your next Trivial Pursuit throwdown. Tanner Ringerud of BuzzFeed provides a fascinating look into the origins of 50 big company names. Much to our chagrin, Ringerud refutes the myth that Adidas stands for “All Day I Dream About Sex.” Rather, the footwear manufacturer took the nickname of founder, Adolf “Adi” Dassler. Bummer. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Laptop Transformer

JordanBerman — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:00:42 +0000

If you think your laptop has a mind of its own, this video may be Exhibit A. La Poste, France’s Postal Service, gives Michael Bay a run for his money with this eye-opening spot. The good news is Shia LaBeouf is nowhere to be found. The bad news is we can’t understand a damn word in this commercial. It’s our guess that the guy yelling for his computer to fly back just realized it contained his honeymoon photos…the ones with the baguette and brie.

Listening to Shhhh In The City

JordanBerman — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:00:33 +0000

Watch out, Bieber. The sounds of nature are climbing up the Billboard chart. WSJ’s Aatekah Mir reports that millions of white noise applications are selling on iTunes to office workers, commuters and air travelers. “Rain, wind, waves crashing on the beach and crickets” are among the most popular nature sounds according to Benny Shaviv, CEO of HeavyDutyApps, a leading provider. One Stockholm University study found, “those who normally had difficulty paying attention performed better when white noise was added to the classroom.” It might be time to lose Lil Wayne in favor of Fountains of Wayne….with real fountains, mind you. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Ride ‘Em Cowboy

JordanBerman — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:00:20 +0000

Wikipedia defines “SEXTING” as “the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs between mobile phones.” We propose the act of sending such materials via inter-office mail be called “INTERCOURSE-OFFICE MAIL.” It just feels right. With that out of the way, behold this sassy spot from Cadbury and take note to disable your Reply All function. Giddy up!

Some Managers Just Won’t Take Advice

JordanBerman — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 13:00:49 +0000

Does your boss wear earmuffs when getting input? A new study to be published by “Organizational Behavior and Human Processes” found, “the more power the employees had, the less likely they were to take coworkers’ advice.” WSJ’s Rachel Emma Silverman covered the study and cited the fact that muckety-mucks hold “inflated confidence in their own judgements”, which causes them to ignore good advice leading to poorer decision-making. Interestingly, it was discovered that women were more likely to heed others’ advice than male counterparts. Score another win for the ladies! CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Office Magic Trick: Paper Ball Matrix

JordanBerman — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 13:00:30 +0000

Is the big promotion still eluding you? Forget business school. It’s time to try your hand at office magic to dazzle and delight your way to the executive suite! Senior management won’t believe their eyes when you pull-off the famed “Paper Ball Matrix” trick demonstrated here by master magician, Malik Haddadi. Why waste your time increasing revenue when you can deliver oohs and aahs to the bottom line. Unleash your inner Doug Henning and HR will be like putty in your magical hands.

Office Supply Projectile Launcher

JordanBerman — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 13:00:30 +0000

American ingenuity never ceases to amaze…especially when applied to assorted weaponry. Ashley from BrokeTheInterweb narrates this crafty how-to video for making a bow-and-arrow type shooter from standard office supplies: pen, binder clip, rubber band and push pin. Don’t forget to don safety goggles and please refrain from reprising John Malkovich’s role as would-be assassin, Mitch Leary, in the Clint Eastwood film, “In The Line of Fire.” Office assassinations never look good on a resume. BTW, kind of creepy how the demonstrator wears latex gloves.

So Many Gadgets, So Many Aches

JordanBerman — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 13:00:18 +0000

Forget forklift operators, laptop toting middle managers may face the greatest physical threat from their tools of the trade. Alan Hedge, Cornell ergonomics professor, cites improper use of laptops, smartphones and tablets as increasing the incidence of eye strain, tendinitis and carpal tunnel syndrome. Phyllis Korkki’s New York Times article quotes Hedge advising white-collar warriors to “match the technology to the task you want to perform.” It’s just not that smart to thumb-type a 20-page report on the new touchscreen smartphone you’re toting…unless Skynet has already turned you into half-man/half-machine. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Drink Driving: Forklift Smashes Massive Vodka Stock

JordanBerman — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 21:20:22 +0000

Hollywood special effects wizards can’t hold a candle to the warehouse wreckage captured by this Moscow liquor distributor’s surveillance camera. The forklift driver appears to have replaced the acceleration pedal with the devastation pedal. Nothing a Johnson Rod can’t fix. You’ve got to love the British reporter’s line about the accident “leaving him very much under the influence of drink.” We estimate he’s under the influence of 2 tons of drink. Drive safe, Vladimir.

Coffee Break? Walk in the Park? Why Unwinding is Hard

JordanBerman — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 18:08:40 +0000

Better hug that shrub on your next coffee break. Researchers at the University of Michigan found memory and attention test scores improved 20% for participants that paused to stroll through an arboretum. Even looking at pictures of nature improved cognitive performance. The results have to do with nature engaging “involuntary attention” which is different than the “directed attention” required by tasks at work. WSJ reporter, Shirley Wang, also highlights a Stanford University finding that, “…people who believe they have an unlimited amount of willpower were able to work longer – without performing worse – than people who believe they only have limited willpower.” So, dial-up Survivor’s “Eye Of The Tiger” on your iPod and power through that powerpoint presentation, Rocky! CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Epic Frog

JordanBerman — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 04:16:52 +0000

Something about this startling video summons visions of workplace survival. The frog is going about his business when he hears a hissing sound from within the bowels of HR. The frog updates his resume and begins interviewing as the re-org rumors rumble. Just as the downsizing descends upon him, the frog leaps and miraculously manages to live another day. Be the frog: leap and the net will appear. The video footage comes from BBC’s Life set to music from “Lux Aeterna” Requiem For A Dream.

Gamer Commute

JordanBerman — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 02:53:04 +0000

We’d all get our butts out of bed to begin the Monday morning commute if it looked like this! YouTube legends, Freddie Wong & Brandon Laatsch, create an ode to commuting, gamer style. The nod to Frogger at 1:22 just might rival our favorite Seinfeld episode. Try to find the other gaming references hidden throughout this action-packed piece.

Vodka In A Stapler

JordanBerman — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 03:06:20 +0000

Finally, a convenient solution for alcohol shakes in the morning: Vodka In A Stapler! This is no ordinary Swingline. This is corporate synergy at its finest, found in the fusion of office supplies and spirits. Enjoy this infomercial complements of G4′s “Attack of the Show.” Now, if only they could fit bourbon into binder clips.

Career Fist: Dojo Sessions – Lunch

JordanBerman — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 05:36:10 +0000

Lunchtime at work: a nutritious break that turns noxious when nasty colleagues scarf down food like feral pigs. Watch Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, as he answers an eating etiquette tweet from Lou in Minnesota. Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors. Tweet your career questions to Chuck @CareerFist.

Be sure to review the written “Career Fist Code” below in conjunction with the video tutorial to reinforce how best to handle an office lunch while avoiding the hazards of indigestion. This recipe for desktop dining will give your career more zing than a Zagat’s guide in New Zealand.

CAREER FIST CODE: LUNCH

Formica desk, fluorescent lights. fabric covered walls and food. Is this a recipe for deliciousness or disaster in the office dojo? It all depends on how you combine these ingredients in the cubicle crock pot. With more than half of American workers eating at their desks, that’s a heck of a lot of heartburn. So, snap to attention as you munch on those snap peas and get schooled on workspace sustenance. Take back your lunch break with the speed of a chopstick tagging a tuna roll because you’ll need a full stomach and clear mind to be lethal after lunch.

Remember to follow these office eating tips closely. Otherwise, you might just earn yourself a pink slip and find that you’re the one collecting tips while waiting tables at the local Dippy MacBeefingtons.

1. Burnt Popcorn: Don’t Make Me Pop You In The Pants

Who doesn’t love popcorn? Especially when you’re kicking back to the sights and sounds of Bruce Lee in “Fist of Fury.” However, few things make me as furious as the permanent stink of artificial butter flavor emanating from the office microwave. If you’re going to pop some kernels, have the decency to watch your snack before it combusts like a buttery pipe bomb. And eat a real meal for once, something with protein for more powerful punches.

2. Plastic Wrap Your Keyboard

Avoid costly spills on your keyboard by covering your computer with plastic wrap. You’ll reduce the likelihood of chili getting caught in your keys and ensure that your typed “s” doesn’t sound squishy.

3. Do Not Disturb Desktop Diners

The act of eating is not equivalent to an open invitation for chatting-up a co-worker. Lunchtime is sacred time. So, avoid plopping down next to a colleague who is scarfing down her pie. Otherwise, you might receive a punch to the pie-hole. Keep an open book nearby as a nod to the fact that you’re in no mood for chitchat.

4. Loud Lunchers Deserve a Leg-Lock

When dining at your desk, be cognizant of the crunches and crackles generated by noshing on nuts, chips and candy. Dial down the decibels by eating fewer and slower. Otherwise, leave the loud lunch at home.

5. Tupperware Awakens The Tiger Within

Packing last night’s leftovers in Tupperware is a good way to keep a tight reign on lunch costs. However, don’t even think about leaving your used Tupperware in the office kitchen sink, lest you stink up the entire workspace. Rather, eat and clean like a phantom ninja, leaving no trace behind. And dispose of that used plastic ware before I shove a spork in your eye.

6. The Boardroom Ain’t Your Bedroom

Many office workers are guilty of leaving their garbage in common spaces like the conference room table. Treat shared space like your private dojo. Clean up or get your clock cleaned by my roundhouse kick.

7. Sardines Are A Sorry Sight

When choosing your lunch, think about whether your order’s odor may seem odious to other office dwellers. Stay away from the sardines and avoid the vindaloo curry from your favorite Indian joint.

8. Keep Your Hands Off Other People’s Peanut Butter

Just because you’re hungry, doesn’t give you a license to commandeer someone else’s comestibles. Don’t bogart that beef stew. Otherwise, you’ll be stewing in a world of hurt with the snap of my cobra chop to the temple.

9. Toothbrush or Not Toothbrush

Avoid friendly fire when breathing on a colleague after consuming garlic-laced goat cheese. Rather, eat your lunch and then brush your teeth in the office bathroom. Nothing kills collaboration faster than the stink of a project manager when she speaks after slurping her salmon sauce. Altoids anyone?

10. Get a Change of Scenery

You don’t need to be a hero by chaining yourself to a desk while dining. That’s a poor excuse for weak time management. Get your butt out of the beige walls of the office and smell some fresh air outside. You’ll feel more invigorated and ready to assume fighting stance for kicking boardroom butt when you return.

11. Bonus Chuck Smith Power Move

It’s all but certain, that you’ll hear a crass colleague chomping crazily on his chili cheese dog in the cubicle next door. Don’t suffer in silence. Politely mention that his bratwurst sounds like a beautiful symphony, but the tones of beefy goodness are a little distracting. If he doesn’t get the hint, walk over to his desk and ask if he’d like to sample a delicious bite of your own sandwich, KNUCKLE SANDWICH! Throw a right cross fist into his face and rotate your hand while punching through his head for maximum impact. That should complete your quest for quiet.

Bon Appetit!

Do Happier People Work Harder?

JordanBerman — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 01:46:34 +0000

In what should come as no surprise to your therapist, the Gallup research organization reports Americans now feel worse about their jobs and work environments than ever before. The NY Times highlights Gallop’s finding that this job satisfaction crisis has an annual cost of $300 billion in lost productivity stemming from poorer attendance, lower production and worse quality. The good news is a parallel study identified the top employee motivator as “making progress in meaningful work” – ahead of raises and bonuses. Study authors, Teresa Amabile of Harvard Business School and Steven Kramer, an independent researcher, advise management to fix this mess by “better articulating meaning in work” and “addressing the daily hassles blocking employee progress.” Think you’re up to the task, managers? It’s about time our morning commute felt a little less like the Bataan Death March. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Swivel Chair Bowling in Japan

JordanBerman — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 19:25:42 +0000

The swivel chair has finally reached its apex of productivity as human bowling ball projectile. Forget lumbar support, this 5-wheeled wonder makes the perfect launchpad for sending pins into orbit. Take note PBA, Japanese game shows know how to do bowling right. (For those among us who don’t own a top-of-the-line Brunswick Fury Pearl bowling ball, PBA is the Professional Bowlers Association)

I Am Canadian

JordanBerman — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 04:18:15 +0000

Molson shoots and scores with this office rendition of their “I Am Canadian” campaign. What is it about Canucks that inspires every American to greet them with “no doot aboot it” and “how’s it going, eh”? C’mon, we’re all guilty. Perhaps this involuntary reaction is triggered by the faint scent of Tim Hortons donuts or the echo of Rush’s “By-Tor & The Snow Dog” emanating from their person. Either way, let’s toast the American actor with a pop and poutine for channeling his inner Jim Carrey (Canadian) meets Seann William Scott (American). Cheers! FYI, there’s no contest that our favorite northern neighbor is Troy Ewanchyna.

Career Fist: Job Interview

JordanBerman — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 01:51:05 +0000

The interview: a terrifying thunderdome where many enter and only 1 leaves…with a job offer. Join Chuck “Career Fist” Smith, martial arts mastermind and motivator, on a journey to conquer this career killer with a mix of Dragon and Tiger style techniques that will render HR helpless! Career Fist, an OFC Original Series, is the Kung Fu career advice show for white-collar warriors.

Study the written “Career Fist Code” below in conjunction with the video tutorial for maximum impact in mastering the interview. Chuck Smith authored the Code to provide a blueprint for his disciples to dominate the interviewer. ”Career Fist Code” underpins Chuck’s revolutionary new personal development system based on his philosophy that work is full contact blood sport fought in the beige fabric covered fight pit known as the office.

CAREER FIST CODE: JOB INTERVIEW

Your opponent, the interviewer, will determine your worthiness in answering 3 fundamental questions:

1) Can you do the job?

2) Have you solved similar issues facing the company?

3) Will you fit the culture?

You must answer these 3 questions to advance in your career quest.

The way of the workplace warrior can only be told through stories of solving problems as a samurai sword slices stacks of Post-It Notes. The Career Fist method for doing this is telling W.A.R. stories. A W.A.R. story begins with a description of the Wall you had to break through. This is the specific business problem requiring a solution. An example from my own personal experience is when I was surrounded by a marauding gang of 12 mercenary Mongolian horsemen. Next, you’ll cite the Action you took to break through the Wall and resolve the issue. It is most important to say what you did rather than share the detail of how you did it. Continuing my example, the Action I took was to disarm the attackers via my patented Chuck Smith power flex technique. Finally, you’ll detail the Result you achieved by offering metrics of success, be it involving dollar figures, percentages or testimonials of accomplishment. Completing the example, the Result I achieved was domination of all 12 marauders and a 100% increase in personal safety. Remember, there is no WARRIOR without W.A.R. and so that is the language you must speak to vanquish enemies in the dreaded interview room.

Be sure to read these additional interview instructions carefully as they will allow you to annihilate any hurdles HR puts in your path.

1. May The Rooster Be Your Friend

Be on time to the interview. Arrive at least 15-minutes early so that you are calm and mentally prepared to do battle. Anticipate traffic and other deadly delays by leaving yourself extra time. If you don’t have access to a rooster, set multiple alarms. There are no excuses for late arrival, save for a steel-tipped throwing star lodged in your temple.

2. Cell Phone As Ninja: Silent

Workplace warriors are wise to wind down their wireless phones. Turn-off the power and make sure the ringer is set to silent. A ringing mobile phone can assassinate your meeting mojo.

3. Know Thy Enemy

Study the company via an Internet search. Get a higher level of insight by tracking down employees via LinkedIn. Be sure to catch current company representatives at conferences to make in-person connections. Understand the company’s mission, goals, competition and culture. Be sure you can articulate why you want to work there beyond the company sponsored Taekwondo team.

4. Don’t Bring a Knife To a Nunchuk Fight

Arm yourself with the following ammunition so that you’re prepared for anything: extra resumes (your interviewer may not have one), notepad (ask permission to take brief notes), mints (don’t risk bad breath).

5. The Best Defense Is Not To Offend

Shower and avoid heavy cologne or perfume. Lean towards dressing conservatively to show you’re serious about the job. However, do your homework on acceptable dress so that you can customize your look to the company. If possible, bring an extra interview outfit in your car just in case you experience a catastrophic collision with an open coffee container.

6. Let Facebook Be Faceless

Avoid the personnel department poking around your Facebook profile by turning-on your privacy settings. Everything is fair game in the Facebook era.

7. Look Strong Like a Shaolin Temple Wall

Offer a firm handshake like the death grip of a reticulated python. Never give a dead fish finger shake. Keep your back straight in the chair and maintain good eye contact to show interest and confidence. Avoid hair twirling and chin rubbing as you’d avoid a roundhouse kick from your opponent.

8. Evade Like a Mongoose Dancing With a King Cobra

Don’t feel compelled to fill every empty moment with small talk or jokes. Be personable, but avoid getting penalized for poor humor. Always ask the interviewer how much time they have and focus your answers on the specific questions. Do not forcefully lead the conversation. Follow the path of the interviewer and steer clear of tangential death traps. Also, be sure not to badmouth a former boss. Be as positive as panda in a bamboo forest.

9. Battle Plan

Listen for the interviewer to share the company’s problems, issues and opportunities. Match those issues with your accomplishments and share the resulting W.A.R. stories to bolster your positioning as the workplace warrior they need. Ask the interviewer about the company’s needs if not volunteered at the beginning of the interview. Rely on your research uncovering the company’s needs if the interviewer does not share this critical information.

10. Show Your Inner Fire

Convey your passion for the specific field and industry. Demonstrate how you increase your knowledge via books, trade periodicals and websites. Translate that passion for the company by having a set of questions to ask. At the close of the interview, express your interest in the job by asking about next steps. Then send a thank you note that reinforces your W.A.R. stories, highlights your ability to do the job, and expresses how your personality and values fit within the company.

11. Bonus Chuck Smith Power Move

As a last resort, always carry a vial of ninja blinding dust in your kimono. If stumped by a question, you should distract the interviewer by pointing to a favorite Successories poster on her wall. Then, quietly sprinkle the ninja blinding dust on your resume. Next, ask the interviewer to take a closer look at your resume. When the interviewer leans in, blow the dust into her eyes. This will catch her by surprise and cause temporary blindness. Use these precious seconds to collect your thoughts and formulate an answer to the tricky question. As the interviewer re-gains her sight, make a comment about the heavy pollen count in the air as a likely cause of her vision issues. Then, state your new answer to ace the interview!

Your Co-Workers Might Be Killing You

JordanBerman — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 16:54:58 +0000

Forget freak accidents involving paper shredders. The single biggest health risk at work involves mean colleagues. Jonah Lehrer, WSJ reporter, highlights this surprising finding in his review of a new workplace health study from Arie Shirom of Tel Aviv University. “According to the data, middle-age workers with little or no peer social support in the workplace were 2.4 times more likely to die during the study.” With Americans spending roughly 15% of our lifetimes in the office, it’s no wonder work-related stress can downsize your longevity. Better beef-up that life insurance policy if your office starts resembling the set of “Mean Girls.” CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

A Field Guide to Obnoxious Eating

JordanBerman — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 01:57:22 +0000

It’s time to pull the plug on the master chef microwaving his mystery meat in the office kitchen. Sue Shellenbarger reports in the WSJ that “more than half of full-time employees in the U.S. eat at their desks at least once a week.” According to Dr. Pamela Dalton, an olfactory researcher, these cubicle diners are likely destroying office morale with their odious odors. Further, dedicated desk jockeys are draining their own energy by missing an opportunity to clear their heads with a change of environment. So, take back your lunch break and eat that tuna sandwich on a park bench. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Hilarious Office Hackey Sack

JordanBerman — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 02:57:29 +0000

Hats off to the heroes who created this hilarious office hackey sack video. The footbag footage just might transport you back to that Phish concert circa 1996…the one with the bad mushrooms. Enjoy the epic ending as it’s James Cameron worthy.

Web Surfing Helps at Work, Study Says

JordanBerman — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 01:50:41 +0000

Paste this on the CTO’s door: surfing the web refreshes tired workers and enhances productivity. “Impact of Cyberloafing on Psychological Engagement”, a study by Don J.Q. Chen and Vivien K.G. Lim of the National University of Singapore, found “browsing the Internet serves an important restorative function.” Rachel Emma Silverman’s WSJ article notes the Mentos-like effect of web surfing by citing how Chen & Lim caution employers against over-restricting workers’ Web access. Be sure to french kiss Chen & Lim when you see them at the next Academy of Management annual meeting! CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Office Bean Bag Mania

JordanBerman — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 02:51:58 +0000

Here’s your chance to one-up the office posture police replacing swivel chairs with balance balls. Take a cue from this funny British Telecom ad that shows what happens when bean bags become the workplace seat du jour. Soooo comfy, yet soooo wrong.

Hey, You! Rude People Earn More, Study Finds

JordanBerman — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 01:17:07 +0000

A new study reveals why the office jerks drive Jaguars and the nice guys navigate Gremlins. According to Cornell University professor, Beth Livingston, men who are less “agreeable” earned 18% more ($9,772 annually) than nicer guys while women who are less “agreeable” earned 5% more ($1,828 annually) than nicer female colleagues. This may come as no surprise to those of you watching douchey colleagues raking-in bigger dollars. Read Rachel Emma Silverman’s WSJ article to capitalize on your own a-hole attributes. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Cellphone Meeting Melee

JordanBerman — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 04:52:44 +0000

Cellphone etiquette in meetings: an issue more divisive than the US debt ceiling, the West Bank and Roe v. Wade combined. Watch how one co-worker coped with a discourteous colleague in this real life rendition of “When Presenters Attack: Russia Edition!” Remember to hit the silent button to avoid your own bench-clearing brawl in the boardroom.

Daring To Stumble On The Road To Discovery

JordanBerman — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 03:59:04 +0000

What do Chris Rock and Howard Schultz have in common? Peter Sims of The New York Times argues the stand-up comedian and founder of Starbucks share the same process of “making countless small bets to discover what works.” Sims explains that this inventive approach towards discovering new ideas by “trying seemingly wild possibilities” goes against the grain of typical corporate culture that rewards perfection and penalizes mistakes. So, if your company is serious about innovation and invention, let them know Chris Rock persisted through countless cricket-filled nights on stage to hone gems like his rant on the fix-all miracle of Robitussin: “Daddy, I broke my leg! Boy, let the Tussin get in there.” CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Like A Boss (ft. Seth Rogen)

JordanBerman — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 01:36:18 +0000

Only The Lonely Island guys (Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer & Jorma Taccone) can get away with spitting the following lines gangsta style: “Talk to corporate. Approve memos. Lead a workshop. Remember birthdays. Direct workflow. My own bathroom. Micromanage. Promote synergy. Like a boss.” Enjoy this single from their debut album, “INCREDIBAD”, featuring Seth Rogen. Just keep the volume low as this is the uncensored version.

The Funniest Office Pranks Of All Time

JordanBerman — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 22:33:33 +0000

The Post-It Paradise. The Hasselhoff Hurricane. The Tin Foil Tornado. The Balloon Bonanza. These are a few of our favorite office pranks pulled-off by crafty colleagues. Check out Ross Luippold’s article in The Huffington Post and witness some of the funniest workplace chicanery we’ve seen since Mark Zuckerberg was de-pantsed at CES (not really, but one day). CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

If You Dream About the Boss…

JordanBerman — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 22:17:01 +0000

Have you dreamt of mating with an officemate or endured a nightmare of nudity with a cubicle neighbor? If so, your unconscious may be telling you something important about your work life…beyond the fact that Frank in Accounts Payable may have a hairy lower back! Read Elizabeth Bernstein’s WSJ article and learn to decipher your dreams by “paying attention to details and thinking carefully about what happened before you woke up.” CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Office Copier Prank Gone Wrong

JordanBerman — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 03:17:42 +0000

The office copier: document duplicator or derriere death trap? This hefty fellow learns it’s the latter as he lacerates his buttocks shortly after pressing the copy button. Tis a shame NASA can put a man on the moon but Xerox still can’t protect your moon with bulletproof grade copier glass. Dare to dream.

New Mobile Game Unleashes Angry Employees on Boss From Hell

JordanBerman — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 02:34:27 +0000

Put down that TPS report and stretch those thumbs. It’s time to play the new Office Riot mobile game from Dreamkind where you are the dastardly boss of X-Ploit Industries dodging your mutinous minions. Grab the armrests of your virtual office chair as you jump over obstacles and duck the staplers and laptops tossed by employees who just can’t bear another abusive memo. Check out Ned Smith’s review and game on! CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

When Guests Check In, Their iPhones Check Out

JordanBerman — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 02:06:54 +0000

Get ready to swap your mobile device for a mini-bar key. A growing number of hotels and resorts are promoting “unplugged” and “digital detox” packages to persuade stress-addled guests to part with their cell phones at check-in. Anne Tergesen cites a recent American Express survey that found 79% of travelers expect to remain connected all or some of the time on their next vacation. Better drop that iPad and pick-up a paperback on the way to the infinity pool. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

The Perk Bubble Is Growing As Tech Booms Again

JordanBerman — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 01:47:15 +0000

Mustache Mondays, Yoga Tuesdays and Recess Thursdays. Arbnb, the vacation rental marketplace, is among a wave of start-ups ratcheting-up fun office culture to attract and retain employees. Geoffrey Fowler details how companies like Facebook, Dropbox Inc and Zynga are embracing Hoodie-mania in the form of indoor tree houses, kickball games and free gourmet meals. Is your company putting the “play” into “workplayce”? CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Dilbert: “Insincere Optimism”, “Reboot”, “Into The Void”

JordanBerman — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 02:38:47 +0000

Dilbert develops an insincere optimism to complement his artificial sense of urgency. Dogbert troubleshoots a tech support issue and requests a serial number. Is there a more accurate tech support dialogue than this. Caller: “Hello, I…” Dogbert: “Shut-up and reboot.” Caller: “Hey, it works.” Dogbert: “Shut-up and hang-up.” By Scott Adams & RingTales

Dilbert: “Sexy Project”, “Camping Opportunity”, “Creative Environment”

JordanBerman — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 02:10:46 +0000

The Boss looks for a sexier project. Wally proposes a camping opportunity. Alice’s cubicle sends the wrong message. The Boss: “I need to be managing a sexier project to boost my career. How about a nano technology stem cell for fighting terrorists?” Dilbert: “Ooookay.” Be sure to propose that project during your own review to guarantee advancement. By Scott Adams & RingTales.

Woman’s Last Stand

JordanBerman — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 02:41:58 +0000

The ladies strike back with this girl-power version of the Dodge Charger Super Bowl spot that saluted men’s “chivalrous sacrifices.” As the spoof shows, the fairer sex has a slew of sacrifices to fly up the flag pole too: “I will assure you that size does not matter. I will pretend not to notice when you cry at the end of Rudy. I will see Paul Blart Mall Cop…Twice. I will listen to Rush.” Score one for the ladies.

Man’s Last Stand

JordanBerman — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 02:26:37 +0000

Dodge ran this guy-power ad for the Charger in the 2010 Super Bowl to tell men that their “chivalrous sacrifices” are not in vain: “I will put the seat down. I will separate the recycling. I will watch your vampire TV shows with you. I will put my underwear in the basket. And because I do this, I will drive the car I want to drive.” The girl-power response ad nails it.

Short and Sweet

JordanBerman — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 01:49:03 +0000

Top designers are urging professional women to downsize their skirt and pant suits this summer in favor of shorts. Bottega Veneta, Jason Wu and Akris are bringing together jackets and well-cut shorts for a look of crisp polish and playful sportiness that travels from office to happy hour in style. Alexa Brazilian covers the summer’s most versatile cropped combo in her WSJ story. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Stylish Guys Steal Short Sleeves From Nerds

JordanBerman — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 01:29:08 +0000

“Houston…we’ve got a problem…with looking nerdtastic in our short-sleeve button-down shirts.” The uniform of 1960s NASA engineers, Dwight Schrute and Dilbert is getting a slimmer fitting makeover from menswear stalwarts like Dolce & Gabbana, Jil Sander, Michael Kors and J. Crew. So, unleash your inner Don Draper and tuck-in that shirt this summer. Just don’t blame WSJ writer, Ray Smith, if you’re mistaken for the IT guy. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Redesigning: Cubicles

JordanBerman — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 00:53:28 +0000

Veal Pen. Boredom Box. Formica Flat. 3-Waller. White-Collar Cell. The cubicle has as many nicknames as the 40 million Americans who spend most of their waking hours in the much maligned space, which now measures an average of just 75 square feet. Alas, there is hope at the end of the cube farm as Rachel Arndt and the team at Fast Company imagine new designs that bolster comfort and collaboration. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Companies Are Erecting In-House Social Networks

JordanBerman — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 00:18:25 +0000

A 2010 study by F-Secure found 73% of Facebook users worldwide had not friended their boss. What happens when the boss mandates a company sanctioned social network? Verne Kopytoff explores the growth of services like Salesforce.com’s Chatter (80,000 companies) and Yammer (100,000 companies), which are enabling new forms of collaboration. Just don’t expect to post your latest Farmville triumphs. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

The 13 Most Common Reasons You’re Likely To Get Fired

JordanBerman — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 02:51:24 +0000

Everyone loves a colorful pink slip story…unless said pink slip is slipped under your office door. So, read Katya Wachtel’s article in Business Insider on common reasons for getting canned and you might just avoid crashing and burning like the 3 air traffic controllers sacked by the FAA for sleeping on the job. And take it easy on the coffee or you’ll end up like the English banker with the weak bladder who got fired for spending too much time in the loo. CLICK HERE TO READ

Man In The Box: Facebook Abuse

JordanBerman — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 13:16:07 +0000

Greg lays down the law to office workers for proper and improper Facebook use in this spot-on episode of Man In The Box, a Break Original Series. Greg’s words of wisdom: ”I got on Facebook for 1 reason – to keep tabs on all of my ex-girlfriends and make sure none of them are living more fulfilling lives that I am.” MITB follows the office adventures of Greg Bizjack (Mike Polk) as he endures the daily torment of his earnest coworkers.

10 Bullets (Working To Code)

JordanBerman — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 12:40:01 +0000

Artist Tom Sachs created this amazing “Working To Code” video as an employee manual for staff in his art studio. The entertaining 20-minute video looks like the love child of a corporate new employee orientation film and a Wes Anderson movie. HR should mandate viewing by every new college grad entering cubeland. Remember, “Follow this guide carefully and you probably won’t be fired.”

ESPN360 – “Billy Mays Office”

JordanBerman — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 02:30:12 +0000

Here’s a tribute to the late, great product pitchman, Billy Mays. Billy pitches the magic of ESPN 360 on your office computer to a group of cubicle dwellers. Gotta love the line, “Live sports at work? That’s much better than work at work!”

Rules for a Successful Office Romance

JordanBerman — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 19:07:59 +0000

Many of us have tried to put “mate” back into “officemate.” But navigating a workplace romance is no easy task. So, read Nancy Heffernan’s article and get your Six Sigma blackbelt in juggling that significant other in the office without jeopardizing your day job. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Who Earns The Most? Skinny Women & Hefty Men

JordanBerman — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 19:00:20 +0000

Better drop that extra donut in the office kitchen before it sinks your salary! A new study shows that skinny women command higher salaries than average-weight or heavy female colleagues. However, skinny men make more when they ADD an extra 15 pounds! Kimberly Weisul explores this double-chin double standard. CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Dilbert: “Clarity in Editing”, “Magic Cubicle”, “Gilbert”

JordanBerman — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:42:46 +0000

The Boss edits Dilbert’s document. A colleague is assigned a very special cubicle. Dilbert fails another date. Be sure to incorporate the Boss’ editing lesson for improved clarity in your own memos. Boss: “I edited your document for clarity and sent it out.” Dilbert: “Wow, it’s amazing how clear it is when you take out all of the accuracy and relevance.” Boss: “I stopped listening after ‘wow.’” By Scott Adams & RingTales

Office Warfare – Reloaded

JordanBerman — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 03:25:56 +0000

Office Nerf warfare has gone Matrix with this amazing video from Zach King, the video edit and VFX guru behind the Final Cut King YouTube channel. King’s FX-laden short is a one and a half minute thrill ride on an Aeron chair complete with realistic gun fire, explosions and the requisite virtual blood splatter. Best to avoid screening this video during “Take Your Kids To Work Week!”

The Great Office War

JordanBerman — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 02:41:07 +0000

Office Nerf battles have finally gotten a Braveheart worthy portrayal. Witness the foam-powered cubicle carnage captured by the filmmakers at Runawaybox in this 5-minute epic showdown between Sales & IT. Hold onto your squishy stress balls because there’s a high octane ode to Reservoir Dogs near the end.

Dilbert: “Alice’s Gift”, “Office Hallucination”, “Bungee Boss”, “Drive By Management”

JordanBerman — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 03:42:45 +0000

Alice is angered by bad grammar and run-on sentences. The Boss is seeing things. A new Boss flies in… and then out. The Boss manages on the move. If you’re watching this within the confines of a large matrix corporation, it’s hard not to love the brilliance of the 3rd segment, “Bungee Boss”: “Hi, I’m your new boss. Let’s change everything before I’m re-assigned. Oops too laaaate.” By Scott Adams and RingTales

Angry Birds – Battle: Los Angeles

JordanBerman — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 03:28:27 +0000

It was inevitable that the dominant digital diversion for office downtime would appear as a live action sketch. Presenting “Angry Birds – Battle: Los Angeles” featuring KassemG, TimothyDelaGhetto and RickyShucks as they take on PeeDeeFlo and the pigs in an epic battle of good vs. evil. Warning: the birds are both angry and “fowl-mouthed”, so keep the volume low.

Cube Fabulous: Beach Bum

admin — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 00:00:54 +0000

Peter Chelala dreams of replacing his daily sales calls with sun and sand. See the Cube Fabricators bring surf to Peter’s cube turf while making peace with arch-nemesis, Adam. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Cowgirl Corral

admin — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 00:00:45 +0000

Andrea Kayal is a marketer who longs for life on the open range. Check out her transformation from cube dweller to cowgirl as co-workers, Matt and David, vie for her heart in a Wild West showdown. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

World Office Sports: 50M Swivel Chair Sprint

admin — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:55:50 +0000

3 swivel chairs, 18 oscillating wheels, 50 meters of hallway, 1 champion. Tune in as the Mark Spitz of swivel attempts to fend off his Michael Phelps in a battle of the generations. World Office Sports, an OFC Original Series, is the workplace athletics show officially NOT sanctioned by HR.

Dilbert: “Impossible Goal” & “Anti-Stupidious Gun”

JordanBerman — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:25:33 +0000

Dilbert’s Pointy Haired boss asks the impossible and the garbage man gives Dilbert a weapon against incompetence. Be sure to use the following Dilbertism in your next performance review when the boss says you failed to meet a goal: “Do you mean the impossible goal, the ill-advised one, or the one you didnt tell me about?” By Scott Adams and RingTales

World Office Sports: Wastebasketball

admin — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:20:54 +0000

Break out your bullet proof vest because we’re in for a Wild West wastebasket shootout. Watch a duel with destiny as 3 competitors crumple & chuck paper balls in the ultimate free throw tournament. World Office Sports, an OFC Original Series, is the workplace athletics show officially NOT sanctioned by HR.

Dilbert: “Key to Happiness” & “Top Performer”

JordanBerman — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:11:51 +0000

Wally explains to Dilbert his theory of everything. Wally then reveals to his boss why he can never be fired. Sadly, Wally’s strategy for rising to the top seems to be an effective one: “Over the past year most of my coworkers have managed expensive projects that failed. I’ve done nothing but drink coffee. So on an economic basis, that makes me your top performer. Watch and learn.” By Scott Adams and RingTales

Dilbert: “Online Dating” & “Customer Is An Idiot”

JordanBerman — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 03:34:56 +0000

Dilbert introduces himself to a female colleague, but is given the Heisman. She responds, “I only meet men thru online dating sites. That way I can filter out the losers.” Gotta love Dilbert’s comeback, “Too crazy too fast.” By Scott Adams and RingTales.

The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

JordanBerman — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 01:58:52 +0000

The creative minds at RSA Animate bring Dan Pink’s brilliant lecture to life on what motivates working professionals. This hypnotizing video highlights the simple idea that performance and satisfaction result from people seeking challenge, mastery and purpose. It’s time for mediocre managers to throw out the carrot and stick in favor of a little inspiration.

Harvard Says Web Surfing at Work Boosts Productivity

JordanBerman — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 01:21:52 +0000

Finally, the research study you’ve been waiting for! Harvard Business School professors have proof that employers banning web surfing until after work hours may be lowering productivity. The landmark white paper, “Temptation At Work”, offers evidence that workers asked to use willpower in resisting the urge to web surf are more likely to be less productive and make more mistakes in subsequent tasks. BNET’s Sean Silverthorne covers the study.

CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

My Cubicle – James Blunt “Beautiful” Parody

JordanBerman — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 04:20:23 +0000

This 2006 parody of James Blunt’s haunting song, “You’re Beautiful”, spread through cube farms faster than a leaked layoff announcement. The lyrics were written by Morning Sidekick, a radio comedy service, and performed by Jym Britton. The accompanying visuals were created by fans of the song, Indi & Judhi. It was certainly a Weird Al worthy effort by all. LYRICS FOLLOW>>

“My Cubicle”
My job is stupid my day’s a bore,

Inside this office from eight to four
Nothin’ ever happens my life is pretty bland,
Pretending that I’m working, pray I don’t get canned.

My Cubicle, My cubicle
It’s One of Sixty two
It’s my small space in a crowded place
Just a six-by-six foot booth
And I hate it that’s the truth

Well, I give a sigh as the boss walks by,
no one ever talks to me or looks me in the eye.
And I really should work but instead I just sit here and surf the Internet.

In My Cubicle, My cubicle
It doesn’t have a view.
It’s my small space in a crowded place
I sit in solitude.
And sometimes I sit here nude.

Your Commute Is Killing You

JordanBerman — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 03:56:55 +0000

Need another reason to complain about your commute? Annie Lowrey’s eye-opening article in Slate includes about a hundred. In summary, commuting correlates with an increased risk of obesity, divorce, neck pain, stress, worry, and sleeplessness. It makes us eat worse and exercise less. Re-thinking that move to the ‘burbs yet?

CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

A Generation of Slackers? Not So Much

JordanBerman — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 02:18:00 +0000

It’s June and that means the new crop of college grads is getting a Shawshank style welcome from their Gen X and Boomer colleagues. However, the popular perception of Millennials as lazy, coddled and impatient is more than a little skewed. Check out this New York Times article from Catherine Rampell who paints a broader picture of a multi-tasking, team-oriented generation that is blurring the boundaries between work and play in a working style all their own.

CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Terry Tate: Office Linebacker “Terry’s World”

JordanBerman — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:05:15 +0000

It just doesn’t get any better than Terry Tate: Office Linebacker. ”You kill the joe, you make some mo.” Rawson Marshall Thurber (writer/director of Dodgeball) created this series of short comedy spots for Reebok with a premiere during Super Bowl XXXVII in 2003. Lester Speight plays “Terrible” Terry Tate, an office policy enforcer hired by Felcher & Sons to discipline the staff. 9 total episodes were created and for that, we are eternally grateful.

Terry Tate: Office Linebacker “Draft Day”

JordanBerman — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:04:47 +0000

In this second installment of the series, Felcher & Sons hire a new linebacker, Courtney Cate, to work alongside Terry in the office. After some initial friction, the two workplace punishers gel as a team. Sadly, Cate is eventually relocated to a European branch due to salary cap reason and required job improvement. Another winning episode awaits.

Terry Tate: Office Linebacker “Vacation”

JordanBerman — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:03:06 +0000

Terry Tate takes a vacation after 1000 continuous days at work as mandated by state labor regulations. Terry has a tough time adjusting to life outside the office. However, he soon sees an opportunity to put the hotel staff in line to the delight of hotel management. Alas, Terrible Terry returns to Felcher & Sons where he puts an end to the office chicanery that arose in his absence.

Terry Tate: Office Linebacker “Award”

JordanBerman — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:02:57 +0000

Terry is bestowed with the prestigious Office Athlete Of The Century award from OSPN: Office Sports Programming Network. This special recaps Terry’s childhood, high school years, college career, and entry into the demanding world of freelance mime. It was during this last period that Terry’s gift for meting out punishment was discovered by Ron Felcher. The rest is Office Linebacker history.

Terry Tate: Office Linebacker “Sensitivity Training”

JordanBerman — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:01:37 +0000

Felcher & Sons hires Geneva Stoller, a sensitivity trainer, after Terry Tate’s co-worker accuses him of assault. Geneva slaps Felcher employees with a badge of shame if they break office rules while Terry is demoted to a desk job. However, Terry triumphs after catching Geneva make a sexual advance towards a male employee. Once again, Terrible Terry is on top.

Terry Tate: Office Linebacker “Streaker”

JordanBerman — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:00:27 +0000

This special Terry Tate spot is a Reebok parody of Nike’s commercial where a streaker disrupts a British football match. In this case, Terrible Terry exacts serious carnage upon the clothing-less chap.

Who’s the Boss, You or Your Gadget?

JordanBerman — Fri, 27 May 2011 15:09:28 +0000

Wireless wings of freedom or Blackberry ball and chain? Connected smartphones, laptops and tablets give us the ability to work anywhere and anytime. Read this provocative New York Times article from Mickey Meece and tell us how working wirelessly has changed your definition of office space vs. my space.

CLICK TO READ ARTICLE

Office Wall Prank

JordanBerman — Fri, 27 May 2011 01:23:43 +0000

This stunt was executed by the A Team of office pranksters. Watch in amazement as this band of rogue employees walls-off the executive suite hallway and gives senior management a mind-bending WTF moment. We hope these pranksters received performance appraisal checkmarks for outstanding attention to detail. Well done!

Office Meeting

JordanBerman — Wed, 25 May 2011 03:17:50 +0000

Another red stapler worthy effort by FedEx to uncover the ridiculousness of office life. The question is which office savant are you? (1) Jeff: feeds old information (2) Dean: doesn’t live up to his resume (3) Sue: waffles (4) Jerome: talks a big game & does nothing (5) Rick: folds under pressure (6) Ted: thinks everyone is out to get him. Discuss.

Presentation Guy

JordanBerman — Wed, 25 May 2011 02:58:36 +0000

FedEx kills it with this spot featuring Carl and his poetic words, “Good morning….but I digress.” Who doesn’t have a Carl in their office? BBDO produced this spot in June 2009 in collaboration with O Positive. It’s Carl-riffic.

Swear Jar

JordanBerman — Wed, 25 May 2011 02:38:49 +0000

Anheuser-Busch won an Emmy and generated millions of views for this gut-busting spot where office workers contribute change to a jar every time someone swears. Of course, the money goes to buy Bud Light for the office…and where’s the harm in that, we ask you? The spot was produced by DDB/Chicago via Hungry Man and actually never aired on TV. Let the mad cap antics begin.

I Feel Great

admin — Mon, 23 May 2011 12:30:54 +0000

Watching this video was a religious experience for me. The joy, the energy, the mustache. If you don’t feel great after soaking-in every glorious second of this 1:36 minute video, you are in need of serious therapy. The backstory is that Turnpike Films, a commercial production company, created “I Feel Great” in 2003 as a spec Nutrigrain commercial for their portfolio. The commercial never aired on TV. Enjoy!

Cube Fabulous: Hip Hop Ice Cube

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:53 +0000

Isaac Betancourt is a real estate agent with a heart for hip hop. Watch as we bring the bling to Isaac’s cubicle crib, where he’ll confront his colleague, Alex, in a real estate rap battle. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Man Cube

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:52 +0000

David Balutanski is known as “sock boy” among the many women in his office at Banana Republic. That’s about to change as his cube gets a touch of testosterone and morphs into a man lodge. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Ski Bunny

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:50 +0000

Meet Annie Naslund: weekday cube dweller/weekend snow bunny. Watch as Cube Fabricators, Jeff and Megan, transform her dull space into a cube-sized ski chalet. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

World Office Sports: Mail Cart Luge

admin — Mon, 23 May 2011 00:00:49 +0000

Witness a fusion of man and mail cart as our racers hurtle horizontally down a harried office hallway in a race against the clock. It’s time to separate the lugers from the losers. World Office Sports, an OFC Original Series, is the workplace athletics show officially NOT sanctioned by HR.

Cube Fabulous: Sky Cube

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:38 +0000

Brian Frey is an IT guy who gushes while gazing at the grandeur of the sky above. Now, he’ll finally get a chance to chart the clouds in his cube while cruising with a cute co-pilot. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Aqua Man

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:36 +0000

Michael Littner spends his days drowning in a sea of office paperwork. Dive 20,000 leagues under Michael’s cubicle as the Cube Fabricators transform his depths of despair into a human-sized aquarium paradise. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Dancing Queen

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:35 +0000

Alex Lutchman works at a Pilates certification company but all she wants to do is dance. Be there as the Cube Fabricators bust a move and transform Alex from cube dweller to dancing queen. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

World Office Sports: Toner Cartridge Discus

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:32 +0000

Birthed in ancient Greece, this event has been called “Sport of the Copier Gods.” Now, 3 humans will compete for immortality as they pitch the perfect human powered projectile: the printer toner cartridge. World Office Sports, an OFC Original Series, is the workplace athletics show officially NOT sanctioned by HR.

Cube Fabulous: Welcome To The Jungle

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:27 +0000

Joe Cooper is a data center manager with an obsession for the outdoors. Watch as the Cube Fabricators answer the call of the wild and re-jigger Joe’s cubicle into a safari-inspired workspace. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Cubicle 90210

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:23 +0000

Caroline Douglas would just die to sip milkshakes at the Peach Pit with Brenda and Dylan. Watch the Cube Fabricators turn a cube that’s run of the mill into Beverly Hills 90210. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Candyland Cube

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:23 +0000

Christa Lamb, web designer at moodfabrics.com, has a seriously insatiable sweet tooth. Let’s see if she can convince confectionary condemning colleague, Jill, to become a citizen of Candyland. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Roman Cube

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:21 +0000

Nick Casinelli is a music industry executive with aspirations of ancient Rome. So, slip on your toga as we create a cubicle coliseum and bring cheer to the citizens of Nick’s office. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Zen Cube

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:19 +0000

Alexandra Press is a media buyer with a fondness for feng shui. But before she can find inner peace, Alexandra will have to beat office adversary, Nina, in a Bonsai pruning battle. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Cubicle D’Paris

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:13 +0000

Jeanie Ahn is a magazine researcher who covets the cafes of Paris. Join us as Jeanie journeys to the city of lights right in her cube where she’s reunited with displaced office confidant, Navin. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Penn State Paradise

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:12 +0000

Blake de la Torre is a promotions coordinator with a passion for Penn State. Take a peek as we transform her workspace into a Joe Paterno paradise for this die-hard fan of the blue & white. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Punk Rocker

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:11 +0000

Dan Taylor is a recruiter with a penchant for punk rock. Tune in as we customize his cube CBGB style and settle a Clash with Dan’s office colleague, Fred. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: Scared Stiff

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:00:00 +0000

Brandy Crawford is a die-hard horror film fanatic. So, grab your safety blanket and find out if the Cube Fabricators survive the gore of disemboweling her archivist’s cubicle into a cool crypt. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.

Cube Fabulous: High Pitch Vegas

JordanBerman — Sun, 22 May 2011 23:01:36 +0000

High Pitch Eric from Howard Stern’s Wack Pack stars in this special “Home Office Edition” of the show. The Cube Fabricators face their toughest challenge yet in converting Eric’s crap festooned workspace into a piece of Vegas. Cube Fabulous, an OFC Original Series, is the off-the-wall office makeover show for the officeless.